Friday, August 8, 2008

Why Settle For Dan Seals When We Could Have Paris Hilton?

Dan Seals and his apologists continue to claim that where Dan lives doesn't matter, the voters should elect him based on his judgment and his qualifications. Let's assume they're right. If that's the case I'd like to submit another out of district person who is vastly more qualified than Dan Seals:

Paris Hilton

I know what you're thinking: "Sure Dan's an idiot but he's not as bad as that vacuous twit". But look at the video evidence

That's right; Paris Hilton has a more cogent energy plan than the Speaker of the House. Isn't that a sad commentary? And I can hear the screeching of the Dan fans now "So what, Dan Seals isn't Nancy Pelosi!" And they'd be right; unlike Dan, Nancy Pelosi has actually won an election.

When you see Dan speak on energy you would be forgiven for thinking you're listening Pelosi; Dan has copied her talking points exactly. Remember her sad attempt in the video to draw attention away from drilling by saying that we need to tap the Strategic Petroleum Reserve? Dan, showing what a good little parrot he is, peddles those same talking points here and here.

By that way, tapping the Strategic Petroleum Reserve would barely make a dent in gas prices. Even if we drained the entire reserve, our emergency supply in case of war or global crisis, we could only supply America's needs for 30 days. And they also don't mention that any oil taken out of the reserves needs to be replaced, and oil trades will take that into account when determining price. It's a stupid idea designed to obfuscate and halt debate. But more on that in a future post.

Dan also toes the Pelosi line when he complains about undrilled leases that oil companies currently hold. Apparently Dan thinks that these evil oil companies, who he claims control our legislative process to keep their tax breaks, are idiots. Oil's trading at $130 a barrel, only a company run by idiots would hold refuse to drill on land that has oil. Or maybe the oil companies aren't idiots. Maybe they know their business better than Dan Seals and Nancy Pelosi and those leases either do not have any oil, or the oil cannot be extracted profitably. No, that can't be it; the greedy profit-obsessed oil companies are leaving money on the table on account of "because". That must be it.

Why is an under-educated socialite more knowledgeable about markets and energy production than a University of Chicago MBA? I don't want to believe that such a fine institution would give a diploma to someone so foolish. As I see it there are two possibilities here. Either Dan Seals is really that ignorant and thinks that borrowing from the Strategic Petroleum Reserve and forcing oil companies to drill on lands with no oil will fix our energy problems. Or, Dan is smarter than that and knows the crap he's peddling isn't a solution. But he can't advocate real fixes, like drilling now while working on alternative fuels at the same time. Because if he did then people like Charlie Rangel, Nancy Pelosi and all the other Democratic legislators who are bankrolling his campaign might revoke his allowance.

So which is it? Is Dan clueless or gutless?


Anonymous said...


Many former Seals supporters in Winnetka found out Dan Seals is not very smart. This is a good example.

Anonymous said...


I agree with your analysis that tapping the strategic reserve would be pointless.

The Daily Herald ran an article a few months ago about where candidates stand on various energy issues. Asked if they would support tapping the strategic reserve, Mark Kirk and Dan Seals both said "yes." In fact, out of all the candidates in all the districts included, only about two said "no" to tapping strategic reserves. One was David Kalbfleisch, the 10th district Green candidate who is no longer on the ballot.

I also agree that Seals is a dishonest idiot but, in his defense, he at least meets the Illinois requirement that congressional candidates live in the state of Illinois. So he has that on Paris Hilton.

Team America said...

Anon 3:24- yes, I know you at least have to live in the state of Illinois to be an Illinois congressman, and that Paris does not qualify.

We're trying to have a little fun here, so work with me, OK?

You 10th Dist. Greenies don't have much of a sense of humor since Kalbfleisch got kicked off the ballot (twice) by the Dems, do y'all?

Anonymous said...

I appreciate your since of humor, but hold Kirk to the same standard as Seals. If you don't, you're no more relevant than EBG (whose blog I never read anymore).

also said...

My statement that Seals has one advantage over Paris Hilton was tongue in cheek. So I am working with you.