Why Settle For Dan Seals When We Could Have Paris Hilton?

Dan Seals and his apologists continue to claim that where Dan lives doesn't matter, the voters should elect him based on his judgment and his qualifications. Let's assume they're right. If that's the case I'd like to submit another out of district person who is vastly more qualified than Dan Seals:

Paris Hilton

I know what you're thinking: "Sure Dan's an idiot but he's not as bad as that vacuous twit". But look at the video evidence





That's right; Paris Hilton has a more cogent energy plan than the Speaker of the House. Isn't that a sad commentary? And I can hear the screeching of the Dan fans now "So what, Dan Seals isn't Nancy Pelosi!" And they'd be right; unlike Dan, Nancy Pelosi has actually won an election.

When you see Dan speak on energy you would be forgiven for thinking you're listening Pelosi; Dan has copied her talking points exactly. Remember her sad attempt in the video to draw attention away from drilling by saying that we need to tap the Strategic Petroleum Reserve? Dan, showing what a good little parrot he is, peddles those same talking points here and here.

By that way, tapping the Strategic Petroleum Reserve would barely make a dent in gas prices. Even if we drained the entire reserve, our emergency supply in case of war or global crisis, we could only supply America's needs for 30 days. And they also don't mention that any oil taken out of the reserves needs to be replaced, and oil trades will take that into account when determining price. It's a stupid idea designed to obfuscate and halt debate. But more on that in a future post.

Dan also toes the Pelosi line when he complains about undrilled leases that oil companies currently hold. Apparently Dan thinks that these evil oil companies, who he claims control our legislative process to keep their tax breaks, are idiots. Oil's trading at $130 a barrel, only a company run by idiots would hold refuse to drill on land that has oil. Or maybe the oil companies aren't idiots. Maybe they know their business better than Dan Seals and Nancy Pelosi and those leases either do not have any oil, or the oil cannot be extracted profitably. No, that can't be it; the greedy profit-obsessed oil companies are leaving money on the table on account of "because". That must be it.

Why is an under-educated socialite more knowledgeable about markets and energy production than a University of Chicago MBA? I don't want to believe that such a fine institution would give a diploma to someone so foolish. As I see it there are two possibilities here. Either Dan Seals is really that ignorant and thinks that borrowing from the Strategic Petroleum Reserve and forcing oil companies to drill on lands with no oil will fix our energy problems. Or, Dan is smarter than that and knows the crap he's peddling isn't a solution. But he can't advocate real fixes, like drilling now while working on alternative fuels at the same time. Because if he did then people like Charlie Rangel, Nancy Pelosi and all the other Democratic legislators who are bankrolling his campaign might revoke his allowance.

So which is it? Is Dan clueless or gutless?